2 Samuel 11-24: Pride and Gratitude (Infusing Our Thankfulness with Honesty and Recognizing the Extent of Our Abundance)

The rest of David's story as recorded in 2 Samuel is fraught with conflict befitting a soap opera, and not one you'd want to have on while the kids are in the room at that. The Chronicles version is somewhat cleaner, eliminating all of the indulgent behavior of David and his offspring and including in its place a riveting catalog of personnel. While this was likely an important account for ancient Israelite culture, such lists do not contain any more spiritual value for 21st century Westerners than any other extra-biblical lists of people. There is something realistic about the indulgent version of David in 2 Samuel, where he takes advantage of his position of authority, sleeps with another man's wife, conceives a child with her, and has her husband murdered. His household is a mess of incest, murder, revolution, and greed. In the midst of it all, there is a military adviser trying to hold things together politically and a spiritual adviser trying to hold David together morally.

As exciting as the story is, the spiritual message is somewhat odd. This immoral man is Yahweh's hope for the future of his people, despite his lack of capability when it comes to making the truly difficult decisions? Well, yes. No person can be perfect, so anyone chosen as leader will come with weaknesses and challenges. Somehow the Israelites who recorded the earlier version of their history understood that being in a position of power--even with the approval of the almighty--didn't make a person a better human being than anybody else. We might not sleep with another person's spouse and then conspire to have someone killed on a battlefield, but we are occasionally going to do things that are selfish and fail to value other people as much as we ought. We might not have children who try to usurp power and prove their superiority by sleeping with our harems in public, but from time to time we will be challenged by other people's behavior. And in spite of all of that, we have plenty of reasons to feel and express gratitude.

David expresses his gratitude in a song to Yahweh, whom he credits with victory in battle. David believes that his deity has protected him from human adversaries and has given him authority as king over foreigners. This is all well and good for a primitive society. Thousands of years later, however, we seem to still hear claims that God has protected us from harm and given us victory over adversity, even that God has made us prosperous or worked out circumstances for our benefit. In David's song, he comes close to claiming that he deserves God's blessing. The person who committed acts of adultery and murder just a couple of chapters back is claiming that:

"The Lord has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
    according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.
For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I am not guilty of turning from my God.
All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees.
I have been blameless before him and have kept myself from sin.
The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
    according to my cleanness in his sight." (2 Sam. 22:21-25)

Really, David? What an interestingly blameless vision of yourself you seem to have cultivated. Perhaps you think that because you had a military victory or were otherwise fortunate that your previous behavior is unimportant to the point of being forgettable? Well, that's not an unfamiliar perspective to us, after all. When we dodge a bullet, slide in just under the wire, or avoid getting caught, it's tempting to think that what we did must not have been so wrong, because God protected us--he made sure we were safe and successful, so everything must be cool. A ludicrous claim, when you think about it. Gratitude is surely an attitude worth cultivating, but so is honesty.

Rather than a Davidic claim to superhuman holiness, it's worth recognizing that we Americans did nothing to earn the privilege of being born in one of the wealthiest places on the planet. We don't live blameless lives, not a one of us. We turn our backs on people, we give in to fear, we wrestle with moral and ethical issues, and we don't always come out smelling like a rose. None of us is perfect. None of us is truly worthy of a better life than anyone else. Many of us are lucky. Many of us are fortunate. Some would even say many of us are blessed. But what we have in our lives is not the result of our utter righteousness. And here I don't just mean the number after the dollar sign in our bank accounts, I mean clean water, abundant food, access to medical care, a level of safety that is unexpected in many parts of the world.

In this time of year when we think about gratitude a little bit more and acknowledge our undeserved privileges a little more easily, let's be honest as well as grateful. We haven't done anything to deserve our lives or our relationships. Whatever we have, it isn't because we did anything to be more worthy of it than anyone else. We have more to be grateful for than we ever take the time to realize. We aren't chosen, set apart for some greater purpose--we are simply fortunate. What we do with what we have is our responsibility. We can cultivate pride, or we can do all that we can to contribute to a better world. This is what gratitude enables us to choose. Honest gratitude allows us to recognize the worthlessness of our pride and to focus instead on our opportunities to practice generosity.

So, I invite you to take a moment--without needing to be clever or funny for an audience, without needing to impress anyone with your depth or insight, and without any reason to guard a sense of dignity or pride--just take a moment to be grateful for the many undeserved gifts of life. Through gratitude we have a chance to recognize our real abundance in life. That abundance doesn't mean that we should stop striving or growing. It simply puts that growth in a context: We don't need more, although we may want more. And when we have more, it means we have more to offer, not more to guard and protect. If we are honest, most of us will see that we truly have enough. Enough time. Enough money. Enough skill. Enough to be happy. Enough to share.

Deuteronomy 6: Love for the Divine (Expanding on the concept of valuing yourself)

Locating the character of the divine within oneself is not really a new concept.  The idea has been incorporated into the belief systems of other religions and philosophies, some of which are older than Christianity and evolved parallel to Judaism.  Still, some people have concerns about looking within because they are afraid they will be disappointed by what they find.  One writer stated that when he looked within himself, he found only selfishness -- that all of his relationships and activities revolved around what others could do for him.  He determined that there needed to be more to his life than this selfishness, and so he turned to the Christian church to find that something more.  My question would be: What informed the belief that there needed to be more than selfishness?  If one is only relying on what is within oneself, and one arrives at the conclusion that selfish behavior leads to a certain emptiness in life, mustn't one conclude that something within oneself contributed to that conclusion?  Something deeper than the surface level selfishness?

Different people will have different answers to that question, but what makes sense to me is that human beings are complex creatures and that one cannot merely glance within and gain a complete picture.  We have layers of thoughts and beliefs, and it requires a bit of work to truly be connected with oneself.  This is not all that different from what the writers of Deuteronomy wanted the Jewish people to understand.  It is a simple thing to say, "Love the Lord your God," but most people require a bit of guidance to put that command into practice.  Similarly, it is an easy thing to say, "Seek the divine within," but most people would actually appreciate a little more direction on that journey.  Deuteronomy 6 elucidates that command for the Israelites, so what follows is how I would update that chapter in light of a new understanding of the divine.  As the biblical chapter refers to the Ten Commandments in its opening line, I refer to the agreements from last week's discussion.


If you are willing to make these agreements with yourself, you stand a much greater chance of living a happy and satisfying life.  Cultivate respect for yourself and you will find it easier to respect others.  Love yourself and you will be better able to love others.  This requires constant awareness, and it can mean working through many false ideas that you've learned through the years.  Because there are many other voices and ideas in the world, you may find that you are reminding yourself of the truth about your value repeatedly.  This is not in any way a weakness; it's simply the process of recognizing a deep truth and beauty and creativity on which you haven't been very focused. 

This is what it takes to have confidence in honoring and valuing human beings (yourself included): Talk about the truth of human value whenever you have the chance, whether in the privacy of your own home or walking about in public.  Put up visual reminders of this truth in your home, your car, your office, and wherever else you spend time, so that you will constantly be drawn back to the reality of your worth and the worth of the people around you.  And if you teach your children to value, honor, and respect themselves and other people, they will have a much easier time living meaningful lives as adults.

Be grateful for what you have.  Recognize the benefits in your life that came about because of the generosity of others, and acknowledge the things you have created yourself.  When you are grateful, it is much more difficult to be distracted by petty disappointments, by superficial comparisons, or by pangs of entitlement that tempt you to place your value above that of other people.  When you are grateful, it is much easier to see the value of other people, to be generous with what you have, and to be connected to yourself, other people, and the world.  In short, gratitude makes life more satisfying. 


Trust yourself.  Even when you make a misstep, trust yourself to be able to improve upon it.  Test the beliefs that other people try to instill in you, and weigh cultural concepts against the truth of human value.  Our creativity can be a double-edged sword, because we can create all manner of distractions away from the reality of our own intrinsic value.  It's tempting to focus on acquiring money or things, to concentrate on what makes some people "better" than other people, or to shift personal responsibility for our lives away from ourselves.  These lines of thinking will never help us to realize our full potential.  Trust yourself to be able to see your own worth and the value of the people around you.  If you see something less than that in the behavior and beliefs you've adopted, look deeper.  At the core of your being is undeniable and connecting truth, a deep sense of beauty, and inspiring creativity.  It's at the core of all of us, even if we have covered it up with other things.  Trust yourself to find it within you.

Deuteronomy 4-5: Rewriting the Ten Commandments and Making a Covenant with Ourselves

Deuteronomy, the "second law" (or the second telling of the agreement between the Israelites and God), imagines Moses speaking to the Israelites as they are about to enter the Promised Land, recounting their decades-long journey and reminding them of their spiritual identity as a community.  As such, it contains some passages that read like pep-talks, and it is repetitious of information that was conveyed in previous books.  Deuteronomy 4 is one passage in which Moses tells the Israelites why their god is the best god ever, and in many ways, he's right.  Their concept of spiritual identity was indeed different from many cultures of their time.  The writers of Deuteronomy also knew that by referring back to people who had supposedly been eye-witnesses to certain impressive events, later generations would be more likely to take that spiritual identity seriously.  It's why some people believe in ghosts or alien abductions.  Eyewitness accounts build credibility.

Out of this chapter, the passage on idolatry is of particular interest.  When we read about the golden calf episode before, I wrote about our desire to worship things outside of ourselves.  If you missed it, here's a link.  Even once we get more comfortable with ascribing worth to ourselves, there will be moments of self-doubt.  Moses reassures the Israelites that even if they are driven away and wind up carving little wooden idols for themselves, when they determine to earnestly look for God, they will find him.  Spiritually speaking, this is a truth that bears repeating, or rephrasing at least.

If you should find that spark of divinity within yourself -- if you should recognize that deep truth, undeniable beauty, and intentional creativity -- and then later be overcome with doubt and look for something outside of yourself to place above you, it's alright.  You haven't really lost anything, and the divine character within you will be there when you determine to recognize it again.  It may get easier for you to see the more you connect with it, but it isn't something you can lose.  You can't make yourself worthless.

Which brings us to the Ten Commandments.  Jesus is recorded as rephrasing these commandments in a more positive light: Essentially, love God and love one another.  The apostle Paul reiterates in his letters that to love others is to fulfill the law.  It's hard to disagree with that.  The Ten Commandments were likely influenced by Hittite and Mesopotamian treaties between lords and vassals, and they contain some of the moral absolutes that human cultures of every faith and creed have accepted to a certain degree, concepts regarding the value of human life and the sanctity of personal property.  The Ten Commandments were in theory a pact between God and the Israelites, but in practical terms they were a pact between the Israelites and themselves.  They were saying, in essence, "We agree to abide by these laws in order to have a unified and sustainable culture."  I'm not saying that they didn't believe in God.  I'm just clarifying the practical reality of their agreement.

We have many laws in our culture, too.  Some of them are based on the same concepts about the value of human life and property.  Acknowledging the Ten Commandments as the model of the American legal code is hotly debated from time to time when someone becomes offended that they are displayed at a courthouse somewhere.  Instead of getting into the practical matters of legal code, though, it seems most appropriate for this venue to approach the Ten Commandments from a perspective of what can be spiritually reclaimed.

Slightly out of order, some of the commandments are covered by the idea that we will be generally happier people if we respect others, or love others if you prefer.  We cannot honor others and still lie about them, steal from them, or otherwise betray their trust.  When we are willing to recognize the universality of human value, we also recognize that we do damage to our own identities when we devalue others.  We are not above anyone else, so we are not entitled to dehumanize anyone else.  Honor and respect other people, and murder, adultery, theft, and false testimony become non-issues.

Coveting other people's possessions, relationships, or circumstances is not so much about devaluing another person as it is about devaluing ourselves.  Be aware of what you have in your life.  Acknowledge your ability to create a life focused on what matters most to you.  Cultivate gratitude, and it won't be as tempting to compare what you have with what other people have.  When you are grateful for your own life, it becomes easier to celebrate with other people rather than resent them.

Honoring one's mother and father is also good advice, if a bit vague.  One must eventually think for oneself, and it can be debilitating to base every thought on what Mommy and Daddy think.  That being said, parental wisdom is going to be an inevitable guiding force as a person develops.  The relationship perhaps bears a bit more emphasis than other human relationships because of the sacrifice inherent in raising a child.  It can be humbling to consider the choices parents make on our behalf.  Having an even softer and more gracious heart toward the people that chose to make sacrifices for our benefit is powerfully connecting.

Not all parents are willing to make sacrifices, though.  Not all parents make choices for the benefit of their children.  Although they may be few and far between, some parents are dangerous to their children in one way or another.  There is no obligation for us to bring ourselves into harm's way.  Exercise wisdom and be as understanding as you can be.  Be grateful for the gift of life if nothing else, and honor their humanity even if a close relationship seems harmful.  The relationship is not more important than your well-being.

The first four commandments are the ones that are focused on spiritual things rather than our relationships with other people.  In my post-Christian thinking, I place these philosophically closer to the bit about coveting because they are more about how we view ourselves than they are about how we treat other people.  To begin with, recognize your worth and your capability.  We've already revisited our tendency to find something outside of ourselves to worship.  The truth is that we can find that worthiness within ourselves if we are willing to look there.  Remember that there is nothing that you can do to make yourself worthless.  Instead of placing other people or things or concepts above yourself and ascribing more value to them than you ascribe to yourself, become aware of how people and things and concepts work in cooperation with one another.  Nothing is more worthy than you, and you are not more worthy than anyone else.  Some people may have certain abilities that you lack, and you have some abilities that other people lack.  That offers us opportunities to connect and co-create.

This concept of self-worth is at the heart of this endeavor, so it will come up again.  It isn't a switch to be flipped.  It's a journey, a process.  It takes time and intention.  For this reason, the concept of a Sabbath is a powerful tool.  If we do not know ourselves and understand ourselves, we cannot hope to create truly fulfilling lives.  It is important for us to set aside time -- sacred time that we prioritize -- to tap into that center of truth and beauty and creativity within us.  It doesn't have to be a whole day every week, but consistent time set aside to engage with ourselves is how we learn to see the depth of our own value, and consequently recognize that quality in everybody else.  It's tempting to find ways to numb ourselves to the things we don't like about our lives or to remain so busy bouncing from one thing to another that we never have to take a look within ourselves.  You don't have to be afraid of what you'll find there.  There may be layers of lies or negative beliefs about yourself to sort through, but if you go looking for connection, for beauty, for creativity, you will find it.

So, a suggested "covenant" we can make with ourselves, understanding that if we fall short or make a mistake that we can forgive ourselves and try again:


1. Recognize the deep truth, genuine beauty, and intentional creativity within you.

2. Value yourself as much as every other human being, and more than external things and concepts.

3. Prioritize time for self-examination to become more adept at seeing the truth, beauty, and creativity within yourself (and in other people).

4. Acknowledge the close relationships in your life and the sacrifices that other people have made on your behalf.

5. Honor and respect other people -- all people regardless of their culture or beliefs.

6. Be grateful for your life and celebrate what you have.